We Endure Together

I have the privilege of having a tiny office in my home; my own little den with all of the books I’ve read, many I haven’t but they look cool in the brown, metal bookcase I “acquired” during my Air Force career.  I have an oversized desk, too big for the room because it’s actually a kitchen table.  Behind me is my “I love me wall,” with awards, plaques and other trinkets from another life.  And pictures…lots of pictures.  One of my favorites hangs to my left; a photo of my unit from basic training.  

Basic training was the first time I had ever really experienced the sense and implications of being on a team.  Though I wrestled during my freshman year of high school, I didn’t really feel like part of the group, mainly because unlike the other dudes, I had no experience, no grit and no discipline and consequently, no wins.  I showed up, but I didn’t have the desire to push myself like the others.  But basic training was different; 30 young men had to learn how to trust and depend on each other if we were all going to graduate.  Those who could not or would not cut it were either recycled back to the first week of training or discharged.  “Put up or shut up” was the standard back then.  I had similar experiences in other groups during my military career, having been part of certain units that had higher than average standards.  And of course, I have certainly experienced this in martial arts.  

It’s one thing to be a part of a martial arts club that meets a couple times a week and goes through the motions of things like kata and sparring.  It is another thing entirely to push yourself mentally, physically and spiritually with others who share the same mentality of self perfection.  That is the environment that I had in mind when I started this dojo 20 years ago.  We didn’t have much; a two-car garage with no heat and no air conditioning.  Cheap paneling on the walls with the occasional nails to avoid along with garden tools and a lawn mower.  We had some wrestling mats, a few pairs of boxing gloves, etc.  Our little group consisted mainly of teenage boys and a couple of other dudes who came and went, especially after weekly beat downs that occurred during two-hour training sessions.  You had to want to be there and if you could not or would not keep up, you eventually left.  I never told anybody to leave; it occurred naturally.  

But the ones who stayed now enjoy a deep and abiding friendship with each other because they have and occasionally continue to suffer with one another.  It’s a rare thing.  It’s also a Biblical thing:  “If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one is honored, all parts are glad.”  1 Corinthians 12:26.  Now, the Apostle Paul is addressing the church in Corinth, but there is an exegetical meaning here that more than demonstrates the power of enduring rough times together.  And while a dojo is not a church, it can certainly serve as a unique and spiritual place.  That is precisely what I hoped it would be.  It is also why this Proverb has hung on our wall all of these years:  “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”  Proverbs 27:17. And what does that mean, exactly?  It means that we are only as strong and formidable as the people we surround ourselves with.  A knife cannot be sharpened with a feather; it takes a stone, some water and occasionally some blood.  

Blood, sweat and tears.  It may sound hokey if not a bit dramatic, but for me, that is Budo.  It should be very difficult, exhausting, infuriating, harsh (at times), and painful.  It’s supposed to hurt in a lot of ways.  Pain and suffering are a part of life and rather than avoid them with scrolling, food, drugs, booze and other distractions, we should consistently place ourselves in situations where we can either quit or keep going.  Want to know why our society is so divisive?  We go out of our way to avoid suffering — especially suffering along with others.  And no, you can’t do that over FaceTime.  We should surround ourselves with people who challenge us, mentally, physically and spiritually, not praise us for “showing up.”  Anybody can do that.  Most people will not hold you accountable because they don’t want to be accountable…to anybody.  That’s one of the reasons Christianity is in such a mess right now, but I digress.  

Proverbs 27:17 does not hung on our dojo wall because it’s an inspiring phrase.  It is there to remind anyone who trains with us that the head of this dojo is a life-long sinner with a deep trust and faith in God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.  God does not just expect me to show up (I’m speaking for myself, here).  He expects me to put Him above all of the other things and people in my life and to treat everyone, even the people who dislike or even hate me, with the same compassion He affords me.  Those two basic requirements are really hard and often painful.  Blood, sweat and tears.  He asks for nothing more or less than what He suffered for us, nailed to a cross on a hill.  So, rather than suffer alone, we suffer together through faith, marriage, family, friendship and (if you are a part of this dojo), through training.  We hold each other accountable, we push each other to be better, do more (reps), to get up, not give up.  We are sharpened and honed by one another.  

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.  2 Timothy 4:7.

Dave Magliano

Tatsu (Jissenkan) Dojo

Jissenkan Budo

Dojo Cho