Fear

I started training in martial arts for the same reason a lot of other people do; I wanted to learn how to defend myself. I had a real fear of getting beat up.

Getting beat up wasn’t new to me. I was bullied all through high school. When I say bullied, I mean shoved into lockers, tripped in the hall, punched on the bus, generally pushed around. People who complain about being bullied on social media have no clue what it actually means.

My parents, teachers and other adults all seemed to have the same advice: “Just fight back once or twice and they will leave you alone.” I never did; I was genuinely afraid to fight back and in my case, I was never bullied by just one person. I subsequently had below average grades and poor self-esteem. In short, I was afraid - - of everything.

Fear has its greatest impact on how we conduct our lives as well as our worldview. Let me give you some examples from history.

• When the stock marked crashed in 1929, many people actually jumped to their deaths or committed other forms of suicide because they lost all their money and were afraid of poverty.

• In 1938 Orson Welles had the entire country gripped in fear because of his radio broadcast about an alien invasion, even though he repeatedly stated it was all just a show - War Of The Worlds.

• Shortly after the attack on Pearl Harbor in 1942, some 120,000 Japanese Americans were placed in concentration camps for fear many had infiltrated the United States to start an invasion, even though most were long-time U.S. citizens.

And history continues to repeat itself. No matter what side of the fence you’re on in terms of the Covid 19 crisis, you have to agree that a lot of personal and governmental decisions have been and continue to be made based on fear rather than facts.

Fear is often an irrational response to something that might happen, a “dress rehearsal for tragedy” as noted by someone very close to me. And it’s a driving force behind a lot of people’s obsession with firearms, expensive alarm systems, and martial arts.

I always interview new students to our dojo and one of the overwhelming themes goes something like, “I just want to be able to walk down the street and know I can defend myself.” My follow-up question typically is, “Have you ever been attacked before?” Most of the time the answer is “no.” Some people have and they don’t want that to happen again. Mostly, they are afraid of confrontation and believe a little bit of karate or jujutsu training will take care of that.

Here’s what martial arts and the military taught me about fear; I’m always going to have it no matter how much I train or where I’ve been. I thought for sure the two scary helicopter missions I flew while on active duty would cure me of my fear of flying. Nope, I still hate flying. But I don't let it keep me from getting on a plane to visit my kid. Fear is a part of life. We can either let it control us, or we learn how to live with it. Not get rid of it, but deal with it. It is an important defense mechanism that can have positive affects on our behavior.

I’ve had a lot full contact sparring sessions, had to use my skills a few times and I continue to train and stay in shape. But I have no desire to get into a street fight or go toe-to-toe with somebody wielding a knife or a gun. Why? Because I’ve trained long enough to know that no matter how fast I am or how slick my technique is, I will definitely get cut, stabbed and/or shot. “I’ll take the morgue for 200, Alex.” Because of my training, I’ve been in situations where I’ve been injured and at risk of losing my life. It doesn’t make me any tougher or braver, it just makes me more aware. That’s what fear is supposed to do. It’s not supposed to keep us from living.

I don’t want to have to fight somebody, but I train for that possibility even though statistically my chances for confrontation are low. Am I saying you have to go full contact two or three times a week? No, but you should be training with others who are actually trying to hit you at full speed on a frequent basis at the appropriate skill level. A good teacher will place you in situations where you have to deal with the emotions that come up in a confrontation; anger, doubt and fear. How else do you expect to test your technique or deal with the very real possibility (and fear) of getting hurt? Your ability to use martial arts in a real situation depends on whether or not you can control your fear.

In my opinion, many traditional martial arts practiced today have all but eliminated fear from the curriculum. Everything from “no-contact karate” to limp or non-aggressive attacks and grabs so as not to scare fellow students or make them feel uncomfortable. This only serves to provide people with false confidence and destroys real fighting ability. An important aspect of that ability is control; controlling your strikes, throws, joint locks and emotions. Martial arts training is supposed to help people learn to control emotions in tough situations. You can’t effectively learn how to deal with something if you never have to face it.

If you study martial arts and you get butterflies in your stomach when you walk into the dojo, that’s a good thing. It means there is an element of danger that will only enhance your awareness and willingness to train. On the other hand, if you show up one or two nights a week and you have no more fear than you would on bowling night, you are probably in the wrong dojo. That is, if you expect be able to defend yourself.

Though I fear I’ve said too much, let me close with this thought. How many times in your life have you had to face your fear and try something new? A new job or new relationship even after you’ve been burned in the past. People who achieve greatness on a grand scale or within their own sphere have had to deal with fear. Don't run from it; embrace it. Learn from it. Facing your fears on a daily basis is one of the best ways to live a full and healthy life.

Dave Magliano

Jissenkan Budo

Tatsu Dojo

Dojo Cho