Grace

When is the last time you came into good fortune that you probably didn’t deserve? I’m not talking about a chance opportunity like getting two candy bars out of the machine when you only paid for one. I’m talking about someone in your life who gave you mercy, an opportunity, forgiveness etc., when they really didn’t have to. That’s called grace.

Grace has several meanings, but let’s focus on benevolence; kindness, generosity, the willingness to see beyond the moment. In order to show another person grace, you have to be willing to sacrifice something. Maybe it’s money, perhaps it’s time. More often than not grace requires humility. Let’s focus on that. We need it now more than ever.

In almost 40 years of martial arts training, I have had more than a fair share of grace bestowed upon me. Please let me share some examples.

I cannot begin to talk about grace without first mentioning my wife, who as many of you know, passed away a couple of years ago. Terri gave up a lot when we got married. She traveled over 1000 miles with me away from her home and family to start life in Colorado. She put life-long friendships on hold and gave up a lot of comfort and security. When we started out, the only furniture we could afford were two lounge chairs we picked up at a garage sale.

Despite all that, she was willing to take a back seat to my training in martial arts. I was at the dojo five to six days a week when I should have been spending time with her. But she saw what it meant to me, what it did for me and she encouraged me to follow my passion. Grace.

I was part of a large martial arts school in Colorado and I had achieved black belts in jujitsu and karate. We had a judo program and every once in a while I would attend a class. We had some great coaches, but the one I remember most is John Saylor. John was also a coach for the Olympic Judo Team and a gentle giant at 6’ 2”. It’s customary to wear a white belt when you attend classes in a martial form that you have little experience in. John not only insisted I wear my black belt, but he would let me toss his huge frame around once in a while, to teach me yes, but also protect my ego. Grace.

A few years later we ended up in New Mexico and I found a karate school that offered a different style and philosophy. The chief instructor was a tough and disciplined deputy sheriff who was built like a fire plug. We had no money and I offered to clean the dojo in exchange for lessons. He asked about my experience and I wasn’t afraid to tell him about my black belt and background in kick-boxing. He asked me to demonstrate my kata (forms) which were pathetic at best. I knew he’d be more impressed with my sparring skills, though I was shocked when he said we would fight with no pads, no groin cup. Like I said, different training philosophy. Long story short, not only did I fail to score a single shot, but every time I made contact, it hurt and he never threw a single punch. Later I would learn this was the true essence of karate. After my poor performance and display of arrogance, he could have just sent me away. “Come back Tuesday,” he said. “Bring a white belt.” Grace.

After studying aikido in Japan for over six months, I was unhappy and disgruntled. Unlike the other martial arts I studied, aikido was complex, the movements and techniques were foreign and worst of all, I had to learn to “blend” rather than crash. Not an easy task for a guy who used to have nick-name “bam-bam” from former sparring partners. So, I told the head teacher I was leaving in search of another martial art. He was neither disappointed or angry. He more or less shrugged his shoulders and wished me luck. And that was it. I found a Japanese Kempo school that was far more in line with my training and experience but couldn’t shake the fact that there was something calling me back to the aikido dojo. I had been gone for a few months but the teacher welcomed me back and was genuinely happy to see me. You have to understand the significance of respect in Japanese martial culture and my leaving the school to pursue another art was kind of a slap in face. But not to my teacher and dear friend, Yamamoto-san. Grace.

I have received a tremendous amount of help and generosity from all of our students this past year as we opened our current dojo. Nobody complained about the harsh cold last winter before we had insulation. I mean, we joked about it, but people came anyway. And nobody was really bothered by the oppressive heat in our small, poorly ventilated steel building. (We fixed that, BTW). And just about everybody had a hand in helping us install insulation, put in drywall, etc. Others put some extra cash in the donation box or paid for much-needed items. Some of our students who have moved out of state offered financial support. Grace.

I wish I did a better job of educating people on the tremendous impact martial arts can have on their lives and the people around them. There is so much more than the belts, the trophies, the egos and the violence. There is also discipline, tenacity, health, friendship…and grace. There’s not a single person on this side of the dirt who doesn’t need a little grace once in a while.

Of course, when people talk about our dojo, I hope we are seen as a legitimate martial arts school. More importantly, in describing what and how we teach, I hope people use words like sincerity, friendship, community, and grace. That is legacy I hope we are known for. That is the type of legacy that changes the world.

Dave Magliano

Tatsu Dojo

Jissenkan Budo

Dojo Cho